Super powers, part two

Spock,

If you could read my mind, you'd know that I think your answer was disappointing. If it was not at the end of a(n unprintable) 2,500-word email that was almost certainly longer than your senior thesis, I'd be more upset.

I don't know if you've ever seen the movie "Jumper" (gun to my head, I'd answer fairly confidently with a resounding "no"), but that gets my vote for best superpower. Basically, you can go anywhere you want, anytime. And bring people with you, as long as you hold on to them. If we're trying to impress chicks, what would be better? Saying what she wanted you to say or whisking her off to the top of the Eiffel Tower? Judging by The Actor Formerly Known As Anakin Skywalker's (TAFKAAS) success at wooing Rachel Bilson in "Jumper," I'm going to have to go with the latter. I'm not even sure TAFKAAS can speak.

But think about it. Need to fly? Sure. Just "jump" from point to point. Need money? Rob a bank. (This happens. A lot.) Want to be the first person to score a goal and get an assist on the same play? Done.

The one downside I've been able to come up with is that it was unclear in the movie if it was possible to go to a place you hadn't been/hadn't seen. However, TAFKAAS's partner with the Scottish accent (that's how you could tell he was a "rogue") seemed to have no trouble building a fort in the middle of what looked liked Siberia. I can't imagine he'd seen that before, although there were, admittedly, some C.C. Sabbathia-sized holes in the plot.

Which bring me to my next questions, namely, could you go to fictional places? The Battle of Hoth? The Shire? That pool party in Anchorman? I guess technically you'd just go to the movie productions of these things, but how about historical places. Could be be "The Midnight Ride of Noah Davis?" Maybe Eric could go back and be with his cousins, the Velociraptors? Or you could fire the shot heard round the world. Greg and Ed would be so jealous when they were reenacting a bullet you fired. That would make for some awkward family dinners.

Go forth and prosper,
Dr. McCoy

Super powers, part one

Bernard Madoff,
If I could choose any super power, it would be the ability to read minds. Because then I could pick up any girl, by simply saying what she wanted to hear (not that this is much different than my current life...ish). It would be quite impressive. More on that later, I only put it in because it's in the subject line, implying that I would discuss it. I really only wanted to tell you about my weekend and to hear about yours.

I don't know who is a bigger scumbag, me or you?
Love,
Rod Blagojevich

Edited for clarity and hilarity.

Sideline reporters part 7

launchpad,

one point before i switch the topic, as i feel that we have thoroughly exhausted sideline reporting: of course phil jackson has other books that weren't written by him, but he crossed out the author and wrote his own name in sharpie. for example, siddhartha by herman hesse phil jackson. the onion's our dumb world by chet clem phil jackson, the bible by jesus. (trick question. phil jackson is jesus.)

and so we progress to... fucked if i know. any thoughts? i was trying to come up with something based on your previous email, but i'm drawing a blank. my mind isn't what it once was. like yesterday. mostly, i really just wanted to write that phil jackson joke. i hope it sustains you through until my triumphant return tomorrow.

pants off, dance off,
darkwing duck

ps. how about we discuss the best super power?

[editor's note: at this point, one of the blog contributors had the audacity to take some time off to study for his finals. the other blog contributor traveled to boston and the pair drank together. there was little studying. there was no writing. there was awesomeness.]

Sideline reporters part 6

clay aiken,

i would also like to add two others to our list of people that I could watch sideline report anything: shaquille o'neal, because he'd be funny and everyone would look so small next to him and kate beckinsale - she is SUPER hot and has a british accent and I would love to watch athletes stare at her in delight as they try to decipher what language she is speaking because "it sure as hell ain't american." i also think that will ferrell could fit into this category, as long as the interviews are always either extremely outrageous or done as a different character (ron burgundy, mugato, the spartan cheerleader, frank the tank, ricky bobby, etc.)

i have some comments on your sideline picks (all of which, I loved by the way. I checked that email on a friends laptop during class and may or may not have disrupted class sightly. i did however have to inform the peers in my immediate circle of the emails and impending blog, so that they knew why i was laughing uncontrollably out loud. they especially appreciated the comment "tanner's a recovering crystal meth addict so i'm pretty sure she's available."

MLB - i'm totally ok with bob costas getting killed via line drive. fuck it, put jim nantz right next to him and see if we can kill two birds with one stone. along that line, it made me think of another entirely different strategy to sideline reporters. what if you took former athletes (putting to work you suggestion of using former athletes - which makes complete sense) and put them in an entirely different sport? like what if keyshawn johnson and mike ditka were the sideline reports in baseball? the styles of play (and therefore reporting) are so different from sport to sport that watching them awkwardly try to put into words what was going on in the field and subsequently ask relevant questions to those athletes would be pure entertainment. Plus, it would help our society to take athletes off the pedestal that we put them on. Oh Phil Simms isn't so smart and obnoxious when he is interviewing Greg Oden, is he? This would also give athletes who are smart and can think on their feet, a time to show their intellect and wit, by imparting some real knowledge about the game to someone who doesn't know as much (or maybe there is not enough intellect to go around for this to happen...)

NBA - dikembe needs to be brought back desperately. maybe he could be paired each game with a different failed child star, probably just out of rehab, that he has never heard of. (stephanie tanner, the olsen twins, the kid who played corey from boy meets world, macauley culkin, jaleel white (steve urkel), etc.) It would be better if they were out of rehab, but if not, it would be priceless to try to watch mutombo try to relate to them in any way. And they might not be able to understand what he was saying either. (phil jackson would probably give mutombo something out of his own collection, preferrably written by the basketball guru himself. i.e. http://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Hoops-Spiritual-Lessons-Hardwood/dp/1401308813/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1228948853&sr=8-1 i was going to ask if you think phil jackson owns any books that weren't written by him or featured full page pictures. but then i realized that phil jackson is probably smarter than me. and bangs more chicks than me. and has a lot more money. and is generally pretty good at life (not better than me at that thought))

I am totally onboard with the ocho cinco "What's in a Name?" gameshow that has been posited by you. i am 100% willing to write this up and submit a proposal to all of the major cable/non-cable networks (somehow i feel like spiketv will probably pick it up, so they will be our "safety school" let's strive high...go big or go home)

joe namath would definitely work, but there needs to a clause in his contract of "4 drink minimum". otherwise, he might not do enough offensive stuff. i would also like to see bo jackson get back out there and give it a go. if the over/under were 60 seconds for him going from sideline reporter to attempting to somehow get back in the game, i would without a doubt take the under. first chance he got to hit someone or pick up a fumble, i bet he'd do it. and win. after all, he is the greatest athlete of all time. at the very least, he needs (and we, as American people, need) his own reality show..."Bo Knows..." Where he attempts to pick up a different profession on each thirty minute episode. It would be like dirty jobs, but Bo would actually try to become a professional in every sport (yes, even luge and figure skating) and then he would move on to any other profession that we, as executive producers, could think of - dentist, gas station attendant, 7-Eleven clerk (with an obvious staged robbery to entice Bo's "wild" side), YMCA lifeguard, dolphin trainer, IT guy, free lance journalist, etc. This is another idea that could really take off. I'll get proposal ready for submission.

btw, i did hear about the illustrious hernandez, reyes, unnamed girl eiffel tower threesome. apparently there is a sex tape involved. can't wait to see that one. well, maybe i CAN wait... unless said girl is heidi klum. or kate beckinsale.

thanks because somehow you outgay me,
lance bass

Sideline reporters part 5

t-pain

i like that between the two of us, we could only manage one, half-baked wnba joke. that says a lot about the league. it's like a trust fund kid with no tangible skills being propped up by her rich ass parents. just od on coke and die a respectable death. (That's not a joke; it's a fact.)

i'd like to add lil wayne to the list of 'people i'd watch sideline report anything.' now it's him and sean avery. we might save this profession yet.

MLB - bob costas, but only because there's a much better chance he'd get killed by a line drive standing on the third base line than he will in the commissioner's office.

NBA - good call on lohan, but she'd have to only do games in la or new york. anywhere else, and there's not nearly the same chance as a profanity-laced tirade about the papa-razzi, or as i like to call them, the david ortiz-arazzi. in lesser cities, i'd vote for a tandem of dikembe
mutumbo and stephanie tanner from full house. i'd hope that mutumbo would augment a player's answer to every question with a dramatic finger wag, and tanner's a recovering crystal meth addict so i'm pretty sure she's available. maybe joey could come on as a 'guest star' (loosely using that term) and do that 'cut. it. out.' thing he did with his fingers. imagine him and mutumbo having a finger signal war on the sideline while phil jackson looks on in disgust. (bonus question: what book would jackson give mutumbo if he was coaching him?)

NFL - forget ocho cinco being a sideline reporter. let's just get him his own show where he picks a name and people try to guess it. the entire half an hour would be a 'jaywalking' style shoot, where random people on the street guessed and they threw it back to ocho, who looked into the camera and simply said, 'not my name.' just imagine:
confused person on the street: 'corey dillon?'
johnson, stabbing pins into a marvin lewising season voodoo doll: 'not my name.'
second confused person: 'rumplestilskin?'
johnson, who stops creating an endzone celebration he'll never use: 'not my name.'
third confused person: 'turd ferguson?'
johnson: 'not. my. name.'
and so on until someone wins. kind of like 'who wants to be a millionaire,' there wouldn't be a time limit, so the same name could last multiple shows. the winner would get to pick the next name.
with johnson out of the picture, we need another sideline reporter, and i think the answer is obvious: joe namath: 'tom brady, i just want to kiss you.' (Yep, i went there.)

it occurs to me that instead of having former players provide 'color' (dumb comments, not the skin variety) in a two-man broadcast booth, they should be sideline reporters. if the ultimate goal of a sideline reporter is to get a coach or a player to say something interesting (we'll move beyond 'looking hot' for a second), wouldn't it behoove said reporter to have some previous relationship (presumably non-sexual) with the player/coach. throw keith hernandez in a conversation with jose reyes and maybe, just maybe, they forget they are being filmed and get talking about that time they Eiffel-towered a chick in Cincinnati.

i got a semi-auto and an s on my chest,
50 cent

Sideline reporters part 4

Jay Leno,

I was going to write a sideline reporter reply...but there is nothing more to say. That was perfect. I was actually think about it last night and it is definitely degrading to those women, who do it. They are solely in that role because they are good-looking, it really doesn't matter what is said or how well they do their job. Just look cute. It takes a man's thoughts off of testosterone for a minute and gives women someone of their kind to look at...that's really it. it is sad.

i laughed quite at your jonas brothers suggestion for the WNBA. or the cast of high school musical. they would serve the purpose than anyone else who might currently be in that role. i would add more, but i don't watch the WNBA ever. I don't know enough to even make funny jokes about it.

now onto you other question, which i love...who would make the best sideline reporters for each league. from the little information i know abobut him, sean avery could be the best for all sports, but we will stick him with hockey. i'd like to see jose canseco ask the questions to MLB baseball players and interviewing managers mid-game. either him, or john rocker. something offensive, yet hilarious would definitely be said. this could even add a little ballpark excitement to the fans in attendance; maybe a fight will break out or john rocker will wrestle with the pitcher for a chance to throw a "celebrity pitch" (like we would do in beirut). And you know what, why not allow it. The vans would vote on it using the infamous "applause-o-meter" and if it reaches some pre-determined level then john rocker gets to throw 2 pitches. the catcher cannot call a pitch and rocker can do whatever he wants. it like baseketball meets celebrity deathmatch meets the XFL. i would purchase tivo to watch this game. oh, and john rocker only does the game of the week with joe morgan, so hopefully some racial epithets could be tossed around.

NBA - let's have lindsay lohan doing the interviews in a bikini. tell me productivity would not go down in the league. right now, none of the bench players pay attention during timeouts anyway (they watch the big screen). what if they could be watching lohan interview phil jackson at halftime. hilarity will ensue. nevermind the fact that lindsay lohan is a walking time bomb and could, in lieu of an interview, unleash a profanity laced tirade about the papa-razzi. this would be just as entertaining as watching a monkey do chin-ups while eating whipped cream. and way better than anything we get right now.

NFL - get ocho cinco into retirement. and then into this role. no questions asked. he was made for this role. and the announcers have to call him by a new nickname each week, that is devised by ocho cinco during the coinflip and can be changed at any time. chad only responds to that given nickname and of course, if called by the wrong nickname, simply stares into the camera and says "that's not my name." imagine john madden and al michaels up in the booth, "Now we send it down to Ocho Cinco?" "That's not my name" "Sorry...uh...Fighting Mongoose, down to you." "Not my name anymore" (whispers...does anyone remember his name today) "Dammit, just tell us whats going on down on the field with jeff george's pectoral injury" "Still not my name." Chad's face is getting pouty/sillily giddy "My name is michelle andrews saeger...duh, john madden" (is sillily a word? add it to merriam-webster-hurley) I think these interactions would be fantastic. let me put a call into roger goodell.

your thoughts?

love...and sorry for stealing your job,
conan o'brien

Sideline reporters part 3

Leonardo,

The inanity of sideline reporters has always fascinated (too strong a word. perhaps 'occurred to me when i was drinking.') me as well. I think it's probably the most degrading thing towards women in sports today. Some might argue cheerleaders are, but at least they are honest in their goals. Half naked women dancing with pompoms (who the fuck thought up pompoms?) can have only one purpose. Sideline reporters, on the other hand, were -- I'm sure of this, despite having absolutely no evidence to support it -- originally conceived with the same ideas (titillate and excite male viewers, etc.) but had to be dressed up under the auspices of doing some margin 'reporting,' which any sports fan will tell you negatively impacts his or her viewing experience. The whole concept of sideline reporter as 'reporter' strikes me as disingenuous and wildly offensive to women everywhere. "Aww, look at the cute chick playing TV personality." (Even Craig Saeger rose to prominence for wearing flamboyant outfits more than anything.)

Does the WNBA have sideline reporters? I can't recall, probably because I've never watched a game. If so, who are they? Given the league's target audience (9-year-old girls who think they are too tall to play soccer), wouldn't the Jonas Brothers be ideal? ("Hey, Sheryl Swoopes, what's your favorite breakfast cereal. Want to hear one of our songs?") Subquestion: Who would be the best sideline reporter for every sports league? The answer for the NHL is obvious: Sean Avery.

As for Pam Oliver, she should just quit. Or get a cheerleader outfit,
Donatello

Sideline reporters part 2

ellen degeneres,

i have thoughts on this. such as why doesn't erin andrews do every game? and why does it matter if what they are saying is in anyways relevant to the game...after all, what joe paterno tells me at halftime about his team's performance is going to be both scripted and uninformative. they all say the same thing everytime "we have some things we can improve on. we just have to go out and execute. i'm happy with the guys so far, but there's still another half of INSERT SPORT HERE to be played." what a waste of my fucking time. instead, erin andrews should ask things that i would find funny and/or relevant to other parts in life (i.e. his favorite fast food chain). How great would it be to know what urban meyer thinks of sean avery's antics? or who tim tebow's favorite super model is? this is the shit the viewing public wants to know. and these questions should always be asked by either an attractive girl (erin andrews) or a guy in a ridiculous suit/attire (craig saeger). like who the hell thought it was a good idea to let pam oliver ask these questions? did they not get the memo that she is there to look hot. that's it. she needs no relevant sport training. if she is truly that knowledgeable, get her in the booth, thats where her knowledgeable can be shown, not by asking stock questions to guys who aren't gonna answer. whatever, i should run these shows.

i love you like the deserts miss the rain (just go with it),
portia de rossi

Sideline reporters part 1

erin andrews,

i have nothing more about sean avery.

it occurs to me that since all sideline reporters are essentially the same person performing essentially the same useless function, it might be fun if we combined them into one person. so when mike breen saying they were going courtside, he would say 'we'll throw it to michelle andrews saeger with coach jackson.' this would amuse me to no end.

i've never worn a suit twice,
c. saeger

Sean Avery part three

lawrence taylor,

i'm tired and have to awaken tomorrow at 6:15 am to go to class, so this email will be short and sweet.

on to sean avery...i also found out that he is apparently quite the asshole (based on me reading all of the comments on the three youtube videos i watched of him. there was not one, i repeat ZERO positive posts about sean avery on one of them. some people hoped that he would get injured bad enough that his career would be over.) however, since all i know of him is the brodeur trick and sloppy seconds...i love him. i don't want to know more, nor do i need to know more. he's my new favorite NHL player (the first time this honor has been bestowed since andy moog was on the bruins). i also have no idea how his move against brodeur was not clever and innovative, but cheap and dirty. seriously, no one in the history of the NHL had tried the trick that every kid in elementary school knows. that is just dumb. i still hate the NHL and will only watch highlights of entertaining things that sean avery does. maybe we can make a highlight reel and post it on our blog.

i was the only player in tecmo super bowl that was better than you (and possibly crazier than you in real life),
bo jackson

Sean Avery part two

David Putty,

Re: Sean Avery -- I'm SO GLAD you brought this up. The whole thing is incredible. The best part -- aside from all the parts you mentioned (excellent recap, Stu Scott) -- is that he actually had to go seek out a camera to get himself filmed. Let's pause for a moment and remember Sean Avery is a member of the NHL, playing for the Dallas Stars. Where do you think he had to go to find a TV crew that cared what he had to say? Alberta? It's too bad, however, that by all accounts (and by this, I mean Deadspin), he's just a reprehensible asshole. Otherwise, I'd really, really support him. (That video is incredible. You're telling me no one in the HISTORY of the sport has ever thought to do that before? It's not like someone just recently invented the whole concept of screening the goalie. This has been a part of the game forever. Dumbass Sean Avery is the most creative player ever in terms of screening? No wonder this sport sucks.)

I wish I had a last name,
Mickey the Midget

Sean Avery part one

Yo Keith Tannenbaum,

we still have not discussed the fact that sean avery has been suspended 6 games (originally indefinitely) by the NHL for calling out dudes on taking his sloppy seconds. MAINLY, the ultimate girl next door, elisha cuthbert. is the fucking ridiculous or what? what he said was: a)fucking funny 2)true c)still funny/i'm still laughing IV)still true? (i guess that was really only two points, but i wanted to be able to use roman numerals, so deal) This man should not be punished, he should be revered. he's banged hot chicks left and right, kicked them to the curb, made fun of them publicly, and then gone out and gotten laid by other chicks. oh, and he's into women's fashion and interned vogue last off-season, so he might even be a gay and he slays chicks every night. this isn't the dalai lama we are talking about, this is a pro athlete. isn't he just saying what so many other dudes want to? i think it's outrageous. I am going to start following the NHL again, just so I can cheer on Sean Avery. I'm even going to go order a Sean Avery jersey right now. Here's another thing he's done and gotten in trouble for...screening Martin Brodeur by waving his hand in Brodeur's face, like a five year old would do in a game of dodgeball...FUCKING AWESOME (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ec_2oKWe2Gw). sports are supposed to be entertaining and he is completely entertaining. He's not calling out his teammates for playing poorly (like T.O. would), he is just saying humorous shit that your average 25 year old would say/want to hear. And it didn't even happen on the ice. No one who knows what "sloppy seconds" means would be offended by it. And anyone who would be offended (read: Ed Hurley, your average priest, Gary Bettman) has no idea what it means anyways, so who gives a shit?

Love,
Elaine Tuttle Hansen

Duke part 8

hey greg paulus,

way to not even be able to beat michigan... looks like the melt-down started early this year. not even kyle singler could prevent this one.

two quick comments about previous emails...i was in philly all weekend and had not access to email, but laughed harder than i have in awhile at the jim nantz/bob costas comparison to saw IV/saw V. i obviously have not seen either one, but im guessing they both sucked. i did also appreciate the fact that you were willing to apolgize to the "yahoo" directors however. second, i think i am going to base my doctoral practice on huntind down mcroberts/randolph children and onyl serving these kids. its a niche market, i know. but it will bequite fulfilling. and if i do a good enough job, i will be able to meet the dads, slap them in the face and say "you're an idiot for leaving duke. bet you regret that one now...dumbass" and then ask them for a $150 check for helping their kids out. what do you think their professions will be in 10 years? 6'10" awkward white guy. hmm...i think mcroberts will be a shoe salesman at macy's, randolph will be an archivist at a small liberal arts college. your thoughts?


are you still coming to boston next weekend? i miss you, i want you to.

love,
nate james

Duke part 7

kurt cobain,

look, every good doctor has priorities. you can't save all the people, all the time. i think bob marley wrote that.

at many points in your doctoral life, you'll have to make tough decisions about who to help. like when both J mcroberts and S randolph's kids come into your office in fifteen years (yes, they both already got women preggers. at least they can find some hole.) and are freaking out about wildly underachieving in their freshman seasons, you'll have to pick which one to counsel. The answer, of course, is neither. They both suck. Go read Deadspin.

debating between jim nantz and bob costas is like arguing about what's a better film, saw IV or saw V. (NOTE: my computer didn't have the "knife slash" font favored by the saw graphics people for the roman numerals. sorry.) you can discuss all you want, but in the end you're just going to want to throw up.

also, i have seen neither of these movies. apologizes to whatever yahoo directed them if they happen to be good.

billy corgan

Duke part 6

jim nantz,

i'm still working on this damn fucking paper. and yes, its 1140pm. and yes, i still have to write one more 2 page essay answer. and yes, i LOVE school. and yes, i hate my life.

i'm about to conjure up a knife and gouge out my right eye with it.

love,
bob costas

p.s. bob costas or jim nantz? this could be a raging debate. i think i hate them both. i also am not sure that if you put them both in front of me that i would be able to tell them apart.

Duke part 5

Luol deng,

you get an immediate response. it's obviously better than writing this damn paper. and i'm obviously checking gmail every few seconds waiting for your response. so i also expect a quickish response from you. i know you don't have a job, so you can't use that excuse on me.

i love your coach k hypothesis...it's so true. i wish it wasn't, but i suppose in my clearly biased view of him, i had overlooked this. we also have to remember that EVERY year they are in the top 10 preseason and often choke in the NCAA tournament, losing to shitty teams like belmont ( i dont think they lost to them, but it was close) Maybe coach k isn't even alive anymore, maybe hes like weekend at bernies with steve wojekowhoweverthefuckyouspellmynameski, johnny dawkins and chris collins carrying him around and making it look like hes alive. because they are consistently underachieving. even on the current team...paulus went from 3 year starter to 6th man, david mcclure might as well not play, john scheyer has somehow lost his innate ability to drain every shot. their starting center is brian zoubek, gerald henderson is a ridiculous athlete who should already be in the NBA, because I am not sure how much basketball talent he really has and he should start making millions before someone in the NBA finds out. do you think coach k is that great a recruiter or he just scoops up all the "good" white guys. Seriously, when was the last time that they got a real HS stud who went on to be a stud in college? reddick (underrated in hs)? elton brand? luol deng? corey maggette? I see a trend among the last guys... I'll jump on the URI bandwagon, Jimmy Baron is ridiculous. I once shot jumpshots with him. He was much better than me, but i did hit a couple. (btw...he's just as tall as me. i think this explains why i was not division 1 material. i was a mediocre power forward/center at 6'4ish". He's a sharpshooter at the same height. Makes sense now)

love,
jay bilas

p.s. this response took me roughly 15 minutes again. my productivity is rapidly decreasing.

Duke part 4

almost dr. hurley.,

you know, it just occurred to me that for a coach who's made his reputation in getting the most out of his players, in recent years coach k has been decidedly pretty bad at doing exactly that. if you're going to put together a top ten high school to college busts from the past 5 or 7 years, you have to include randolph, paulus, mcroberts and possibly a couple others, right? those three are starting on my team of underachieving mickey d's all-americans. the knock on coach k was always that his players didn't do well in the nba because they didn't improve after college. well congrats, mike, now they aren't improving IN college. fuck everything, i'm rooting for uri. they have a shooting guard who spent his high school days shooting in a gym with the lights out.

i expect a promptish response. make this series of emails appendix b. there, i just wrote at least two pages of your paper. problem solved.

kisses,
josh kleinman

Duke part 3

yo chris carrawell,

i'd agree, i've never liked tom izzo (although if i go to MSU, i would love to work for him...haha). i've begun to like michigan state over the past few years, because their star players have been white guys. and now that i might go there, i like them more.

i would completely disagree with shane (and agree with you). he might be the first star player since battier who makes it blatantly obvious that he cares and that he seems to be more concerned with the team than himself. i would definitely say that many of the other guys who cared as much, suck and thus don't play much, so we don't see it (i.e. david mcclure-who has been on a steady downhill since arriving at duke). but i'd argue that there are a few others who have cared (JJ reddick comes to mind). He might not have played a team game, but shit, if you could hit every shot AND help your team win, why not. At least he cared enough to stay for 4 years (unlike our good friends Josh McRoberts and Shavlik Randolph...who are utter retards), which says something in today's basketball culture. My other thought was Chris Duhon. Again, could have left early, but stayed. Maybe they don't wear their heart on their sleeves like singler or battier, but i have to think they cared...a lot. (wow...that was a bit of a tangent)

love,
nick horvath

p.s. i just spent roughly 15 minutes typing this email instead of working on the 15 page paper that i have due tomorrow morning. thanks...

Duke part 2

i think it's because tom izzo is a bitch. i hate him. don't go to school there. my friend who went to duke (that kid shane who was quarterback in prospect bowl) says he thinks that kyle singler is the first duke player since battier to care. i was going to debate that point by noting that there are a lot of duke players who have cared they just all suck, but i didn't want him to come to my apartment and punch me.

Duke part 1

i just got home and turned it on...UNC 71 MSU 45

Michigan State was ranked #6 at the beginning of the season and are #12 now. wow. either carolina is that good (i'll give that an unbiased doubtful) or michigan state is not. either way, looks like duke is gonna have their work cut out for them.