Jay Leno,I was going to write a sideline reporter reply...but there is nothing more to say. That was perfect. I was actually think about it last night and it is definitely degrading to those women, who do it. They are solely in that role because they are good-looking, it really doesn't matter what is said or how well they do their job. Just look cute. It takes a man's thoughts off of testosterone for a minute and gives women someone of their kind to look at...that's really it. it is sad.
i laughed quite at your jonas brothers suggestion for the WNBA. or the cast of high school musical. they would serve the purpose than anyone else who might currently be in that role. i would add more, but i don't watch the WNBA ever. I don't know enough to even make funny jokes about it.
now onto you other question, which i love...who would make the best sideline reporters for each league. from the little information i know abobut him, sean avery could be the best for all sports, but we will stick him with hockey. i'd like to see jose canseco ask the questions to MLB baseball players and interviewing managers mid-game. either him, or john rocker. something offensive, yet hilarious would definitely be said. this could even add a little ballpark excitement to the fans in attendance; maybe a fight will break out or john rocker will wrestle with the pitcher for a chance to throw a "celebrity pitch" (like we would do in beirut). And you know what, why not allow it. The vans would vote on it using the infamous "applause-o-meter" and if it reaches some pre-determined level then john rocker gets to throw 2 pitches. the catcher cannot call a pitch and rocker can do whatever he wants. it like baseketball meets celebrity deathmatch meets the XFL. i would purchase tivo to watch this game. oh, and john rocker only does the game of the week with joe morgan, so hopefully some racial epithets could be tossed around.
NBA - let's have lindsay lohan doing the interviews in a bikini. tell me productivity would not go down in the league. right now, none of the bench players pay attention during timeouts anyway (they watch the big screen). what if they could be watching lohan interview phil jackson at halftime. hilarity will ensue. nevermind the fact that lindsay lohan is a walking time bomb and could, in lieu of an interview, unleash a profanity laced tirade about the papa-razzi. this would be just as entertaining as watching a monkey do chin-ups while eating whipped cream. and way better than anything we get right now.
NFL - get ocho cinco into retirement. and then into this role. no questions asked. he was made for this role. and the announcers have to call him by a new nickname each week, that is devised by ocho cinco during the coinflip and can be changed at any time. chad only responds to that given nickname and of course, if called by the wrong nickname, simply stares into the camera and says "that's not my name." imagine john madden and al michaels up in the booth, "Now we send it down to Ocho Cinco?" "That's not my name" "Sorry...uh...Fighting Mongoose, down to you." "Not my name anymore" (whispers...does anyone remember his name today) "Dammit, just tell us whats going on down on the field with jeff george's pectoral injury" "Still not my name." Chad's face is getting pouty/sillily giddy "My name is michelle andrews saeger...duh, john madden" (is sillily a word? add it to merriam-webster-hurley) I think these interactions would be fantastic. let me put a call into roger goodell.
your thoughts?
love...and sorry for stealing your job,
conan o'brien
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